Copy of Copy of DYMP#6Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Jay Dee of sexwithinmarriage.com. It’s so easy to slip into a habit of ho-hum intimacy. But Jay says you’re robbing yourself and your husband of the wonderful experience sex is meant to be. He talks about how to become more engaged as a wife and why being engaged is even important. How can a man speak to this? Well, he answers that too! This is a journey but there are plenty of keys here to get started.

 

You’ll Discover:

  • Why sex is not just for your husband
  • That you were created to be a sexual being
  • How historically wives were seen as the more sexual creatures
  • Why a man wrote a course on how a woman can be more engaged in sex
  • What oxytocin means for wives and husbands and how long it lasts
  • How many couples will have sex 2-3 times per week but never talk about it

 

Books & Resources Mentioned:

Engagement is what makes a woman sexy

Tweetables:

  • We need to change our tune from “don’t have sex” to “wait to have really great sex.”
  • I think engagement is ultimately what makes a woman sexy.
  • Some nights, I say forget me, this is going to be just about you. And I still have a fantastic time!
  • Too often we approach sex just from our perspective.
  • There are a lot of people married for decades who are still not really intimate.

Copy of JenPart1 (1)

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

 

Love,

Belah

 

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Transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah. Rose.

0:19
Hello there. And thank you so much for joining me on the delight your marriage podcast. I think this matters that you’re here to not only your marriage, but I think it matters to God, because the way that we are in our marriage and the way that we love our spouse matters to him. And today, we’re going to be talking about being engaged as a wife intimately. And that matters, because, you know, it’s sometimes hard to turn off the noise in the background of our mind and actually be present. And I think JD, my guest today has got a lot of really good insights that we can learn from. But before we dive into that, I want to just usually I’ve been reading an iTunes review. And I want to just take this moment to thank those of you that pray for dy M. There’s some people that have contacted me from all the way from South Africa to Canada, to the east coast of the United States that have agreed, oh, and the West Coast, actually, now that I’m thinking about it, that have contacted me and said that they’re praying for the program. And I am so encouraged by that, because this is truly difficult work. It’s not something that’s easy to talk about or easy to present. And sometimes it’s hard for me to even present this work for you and I and I want to and I work hard at it. But sometimes it’s it’s a challenge. So I just want to thank you so much for your prayers. And this is changing lives by God’s grace. And I just want to appreciate you for being a part of it. So anyway, let’s go ahead and dive into the content today. I think it’s going to be really powerful for you, Jay has got some awesome tips about intimacy and being engaged as a wife. So let’s dive in

2:14
All right, well, welcome back delight your marriage listener, I’m really excited to have J. D here. He’s from sex within marriage calm. And this is actually his second time on the delight your marriage podcast. So thank you for being here. Jay.

2:28
Thank you for having me.

2:30
Absolutely. Well, I’m really excited. And the first time I had you on was episode four, and five. And we’ve done just about 70 episodes since then. So it’s really exciting to have you back on. But if anyone wants to go back and listen to his story, you can go ahead and listen to that. On episode four, and five. But today, Jay is here because he’s got a brand new course that he has out. And the name of that course. Let me see if I can get it right. It’s a it’s becoming a more sexually engaged wife. Is that right?

3:08
Close enough is becoming more sexually engaged for Christian wise, but your total there actually be better?

3:15
Well, no, that’s great. And I think that’s a really great topic to tackle. And I mean, we’re just gonna dive in and talk about it. So. So first off, how how does being engaged, sexually benefit you in the experience? How does it benefit a wife?

3:39
I found when talking to wives, a lot of them they kind of said that they felt sex was for their husband, and not for themselves. And so a lot of times it wouldn’t be they wouldn’t be engaged in the activity, they would be just like, Okay, I’m here, do what you want with me kind of thing. Right? But I think they miss out on so much then when they can be more engaged and actually realize that they’re, they’ve been created to be a sexual being as well. They can draw a lot more pleasure from it, and also be a lot more connected. And it can be more of a shared experience. And instead of a, this is something I’m doing for you. Because I think too many people too many wives see it as a sacrifice. That whole you know, just lie back and think of England kind of mentality for the Victorian area.

4:31
Yes. Uh huh. Yeah. Now when you say being a sexual being, what do you mean by that?

4:41
I mean, God created I believe God created men and women to both be sexual. That it wasn’t just okay here. The guys are the sexual ones. And the women have the babies I don’t I don’t think that’s the way in fact, if you if you read through the Bible and you read through a lot of The old, like really old Jewish writings about the Bible and about their tradition. In the Old Testament, the assumption was always that the woman was the more sexual being. Really, yeah. And like, the women were required kind of by rabbinic law to provide children to the husband, but the husband was required by law to provide sex to the wife. Wow, his responsibility. Even so, like in the Old Testament, when they took on more than one wife on those strange circumstances, like when they’re at war, when their brother died, or whatever they’re allowed to so long as they didn’t deprive their prior wife of sex, and food and shelter. Those were the rules. And all all wife had to do basically to say, he’s denying me sex, and she could get a divorce. It was that important.

5:55
Wow. Isn’t that wild? Huh? How Why do you think it’s gotten so switched now?

6:02
Ah, personally, I think is because of a lot of our history of Christianity. During the whole, when Jesus was around in the whole Roman and Greek era, there was a lot of bad teachings that got brought into Christianity, that didn’t really have any place to be there. Because this whole idea of dualism, where there’s this teaching in Greek, that, you know, the body was kind of evil, and the spirit was what was good. And that sort of made its way into Christianity. And the church picked it up for a very long time. You know, that pleasure was considered bad. You were supposed to be live like almost an ascetic life. Yeah, joint, nothing. And just focus on prayer, basically. Yeah. But I don’t think that was ever the way it was intended.

6:56
Hmm. Yeah. Well, okay. So then the kind of leading us to present day. Why is it so hard to be engaged in sex for a wife?

7:09
I think a lot of those mentalities still exist. And they were really strong. Like during the whole Victorian era, they got out of hand. So bad that I’ve, I’ve heard reports of, they used to put coverings on the furniture legs, because they are considered to sexual. I’ve heard that. Like, that’s, that’s how far away from like, healthy sexuality we got. And it hasn’t been that long that we’ve wiped that from our memory kind of thing. Like that mentality still is there. Yeah, it’s it’s starting to slowly die. But churches are doing a really bad job of teaching. We do a really good job of teaching people don’t have sex. Right, a really bad job of teaching them. Okay, now you’re married? Go have sex. Right. Enjoy it. Right, right. Change our message from don’t have sex to wait to have really good sex.

8:15
Yes. I love that. Wait to have really good sex. That’s the point. Awesome. Well, okay, so I have to ask the elephant in the room. As a man, what made you tackle this topic for women?

8:33
Oh, I get asked that question a lot, actually. The the first reason was just that I got asked so many times by wives sending me emails saying, Okay, we’ve had a marriage for X number of years. Some of them are a couple. Some of them are decades. I just realized how important sex is. And now I have no idea what to do. Yeah. Because they they’ve realized, okay, this is an important thing. I need to invest in it. Great. How do I do that? Yeah. Because it’s not something they feel like they can go to their posture and ask them for help, or to their friends or their family or anybody. And they’ve spent, in some cases, decades, avoiding sex, or just like their, and so they’re like, I don’t even know how to start. I don’t know what to do. My brain just can’t come up with anything in that, like, in that direction. Yeah, I do. So after I probably got a few dozen emails like this over the last few years, I figured, well, me as a guy, were pretty engaged in sex generally. I could write something to say, Hey, this is what your husband might appreciate from you. Yeah. And so, but it’s a first step. thought, Okay, well, this is just going to be like a how to have techniques and tips and things like that. And it changed into this whole other thing about going right back to, you know, who are you as a person? And what’s the biblical perspective on sex and beauty, and marriage and all this stuff. So, like, we don’t really even talk that much about sex for the first couple of chapters. Because more of it is about the wife as an individual. Yeah. And how her husband sees her, and how God’s and how you should see yourself.

10:39
Oh, that’s good. Why do you think that’s so important for a wife to understand how she’s viewed not only by your husband, but by God?

10:49
I think I first I think it’s very important for us to know who we are. Yeah, I think that’s something in our culture that we’ve lost a lot of. We’ve We’ve kind of forgotten that we were created by God for purposes. You know, we get too wrapped up in our own lives with our own goals. And we get taught a lot of bad stuff along the way. I, I want to work on another course for men, because I think men have completely lost for the most part, what it is to be a man. We’re not being taught anymore. And women I think, are being taught bad teachings as well about how to be how to be a woman how to be a wife, and you know, that they, yeah, they were created to be sexual. That it’s a good thing. Like one of the first things God said it was like, Okay, I made you to, and then they went and had sex basically, like, reads, you know? And so, yeah, I, I just think there’s a lot of pad teachings surrounding this, or a complete lack of teaching in a lot of cases. I know, you shared your story on your podcast about how you got no teaching, and your first kind of introduction was in grade school. Right. Right. Class. And, you know, I think that that’s hurting a lot of marriages.

12:21
Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree. Yes. So, um, alright. So, when, when a wife is, is trying to be engaged more, why? Why is it engaged instead of something else? Like, be more sexy? Or be more, you know, attractive, or something along those lines? Why is engagement so important?

12:53
I think engagement is, is ultimately what makes a woman really sexy. Hmm, you know, my wife could be wearing the exact same thing. But if she has an attitude of, hey, you know, let’s get together. That’s way more sexy of, than, okay, come here, and I’m gonna lie here, you know, what she’s wearing, or about how she looks necessarily, but her attitudes and our actions, you know, you even the actions, you could do the exact same action. And but with that mentality behind it, that I’m really here, I’m not really present or this is just for you. And not to say that you can’t do something. thing. Sometimes I don’t like, Oh, I’m just gonna do this for you. Right. But even that can be done in an engaged way. Yeah, where, like, I’m going to do this for you. But I’m going to enjoy your pleasure kind of thing. Rather than Yeah, I’m just going to do this. So you’ll be happy and leave me alone?

13:54
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Which

13:57
being engaged is is crucial.

14:00
Hmm. Well, and that is the state of a lot of marriages is where one spouse? Generally the wife is just, just yeah, just being there for it not really enjoying it at all. And, and, and then, of course, she doesn’t want to have it very often, because it’s such a drag on what’s going on for her. So this also would help her to engage more often, and want to engage more often. Is that right? Yep.

14:33
We also go through kind of what happens with all our hormones and everything when we have sex and how long that lasts. And what are the side of the if you if you’re having sex frequently, you know, what are the effects of that with with our hormones and how do those play out in your life? And then if you’re not having sex frequently, well, what are the effects of those hormones dropping off and how does that play out in your life?

15:00
Do you mind telling us a little bit about that?

15:02
I don’t mind. Okay, so it happens a lot more for men. Okay? The primary hormone that I’ve been looking at most of the time is oxytocin. And for those that don’t know, oxytocin is considered the bonding hormone is what makes you feel a connection to someone. Right? So for example, you get massive doses. Well, you, as in women get massive doses of estrogen. Oxytocin when you give birth, and it’s what makes you kind of go, okay, all this was worthwhile, because now I have my baby. And it’s what gives you that feeling like, it’s my baby. And again, when you breastfeed, you get massive doses of oxytocin. Again, because, honestly, breastfeeding looks like a chore. But I see my wife do it. And she just looks down. And she’s like, in awe, because she’s just dripping in oxytocin.

16:01
Yeah, you’re just like,

16:03
oh, no, this is completely worth it. It’s, you know, it’s no trouble at all kind of thing.

16:07
Yeah, I actually miss breastfeeding. It was it’s just it’s a special experience. It really is.

16:12
Yeah, I’ve heard that from a lot of women. And, and as a guy, I look at him like, that looks like a lot of work. irritating to have someone attached to you so often. But we don’t get that benefit of all that oxytocin?

16:28
Yeah, it makes sense. So women have,

16:30
I can’t remember if it’s five, seven times, or 11 times it’s one of those same notes, but I’m working memory. They have seven are between seven and 11 times the oxytocin that men have in their system all the time. Wow. And so that’s tends to be why women are more caring and more compassionate and more emotionally bonding, they bond easier to other people. They make stronger relationships, things like that. Yeah, men, we basically are oxytocin deprived most of the time. Yeah. And until we have sex, as soon as we orgasm, it jumps to, I can’t remember if it’s the seven or 11 times stat. But basically, it jumps through the roof. Yeah. And it only happens when we have an orgasm. I mean, there’s a slight increase when we have sex, and they always tell everyone says, oh, you know, you get oxytocin for hugging, and from kissing it from touching and sitting near there. And that’s true. But it’s nowhere near the same levels. And as soon as we have sex, you know, it lasts for like, a half an hour, and then it starts dropping off. And you really, as a guy, most of us only feel kind of those effects for a day or two, maybe three. Yeah, and then we start feeling like, I don’t feel connected anymore. I don’t feel bonded anymore. And then if it goes too long, we start thinking she doesn’t really care for me. She doesn’t love me. And often women kind of miss read this to think, oh, all he wants is sex. But really what he’s what is intimacy and connected like a connection. Because we have so little oxytocin in our system. Most of the time, it’s really hard for us to form those kinds of connections. Hmm, yeah. So that’s, that’s my whole spiel on oxytocin in sex.

18:26
No, that’s good. That’s really good. I love I love. I love oxytocin. I’m thankful for that. Hormone. Good, okay, well,

18:38
thinking if you can keep them awake after sex, they tend to become a lot more chatty, because emotionally connected, and they feel bonded, and they feel safe, and they feel like they can be vulnerable. And so if you can manage to keep them awake, you can have an amazing conversation right after sex.

18:55
Yeah, it’s yep, I hear that. That’s true. That’s good. Well, I love you can tell that Jay kind of takes the perspective of the female even while he’s, you know, talking, he’s able to kind of, you know, jump into her shoes. So, just a little insight into what, what’s coming further with his course. But well, can I ask the big question and see how you do see what you say to it, but the question is, how do you become more engaged as a wife? Ah,

19:25
I don’t think it’s one like simple trick. Yeah. If it was it would be very easy because you could just go around everybody and go and this is what you need to do. And now you’re good. Right? But that’s exactly why I broke this thing up this course up into like eight different modules or chapters or whatever you want to call them. Because it’s, it’s a lot of little pieces. You know, from from understanding why it is that your husband wants sex to what were you created for to do? With this whole sex thing, and how does, how do we communicate about sex? And what is passion look like? And yeah, you know, how do you initiate? And what are your boundaries? And are they good boundaries? Or are they just boundaries because you don’t want to grow? You know which ones are attached to moral things and which ones aren’t. And there’s so much in it. And we go through all this stuff. There’s also scheduling issues that people have today, because everyone is so busy. Yeah, and sex just kind of like, oh, yeah, we’ll do that later, when we’re not tired or not exhausted, yeah, we’re not busy, or you don’t have a meeting or whatever.

20:40
Yeah, I just was thinking about this yesterday. And just, I mean, you really put into sex, or you get out of sex, what you put into it a lot of times. So if you are actually putting in the hour and a half and say, Okay, we’re gonna actually have a really great experience, then you’re gonna get out a really great experience versus, you know, the 15 minutes or the 10 minutes that you’ve got, you’re just gonna, you know, half hearted, do it, it’s, um, it’s a different experience, you won’t get the same out, I mean, still worthwhile. It’s still, especially for men, it’s still worthwhile. But for the woman in terms of what she’s going to get out of sex, it’s it’s often what she puts into it in the first place. Yeah. Especially

21:22
with that whole orgasm gap. idea that, you know, men can have an orgasm in, whatever the stats are, they change every year, but somewhere between two to 10 minutes. Yeah, I mean, tend to take more like the 10 to 20 minutes. 30 or more. Right, right, depending on ver a variety of things.

21:43
Do you know, can I just ask you on the spot. And if you don’t, it’s fine. But so women get a lot out of the touching and the oxytocin releases is really, a lot of the foreplay is where she gets most of her oxytocin release. But do you know what happens with her for orgasm? Is it still an oxytocin release? And it’s just not as much as as foreplay or it’s comparable? Or do you have an idea about that?

22:12
I honestly don’t know. Yeah, I don’t need reading a study on it once and I’m guessing it wasn’t something noticeable, or else I would have remembered it. Yeah, yeah. The the man’s one, I was just like, Oh, my goodness, look at that. Right. Right. That stuck in my head for years. I mean, it was years ago, I read the study. Right. But I haven’t seen anything like that for women.

22:37
Yeah. It’s, it’s interesting, because a lot of times women think that they’re not a whole person, if they’re not able to orgasm or, or orgasm has to be a certain way in sex, or just, we just act like orgasm is this huge thing for women. But I guess I’m trying to say that. It’s not that orgasms are not important they are and they’re a wonderful part of the experience of the whole sexual experience. But it’s not the biggest, most important thing for women. And I guess I’d like to also address those women that have an orgasm before, if you would like to, and figure out and understand your body in that way. There’s definitely ways to do that. And I would suggest one of the easiest ways to learn is to start out using a vibrator. And then your body can learn in different ways how to orgasm. But if you are interested in trying a vibrator, you can go to delight your marriage.com/resources. And there I have a resource, which is Christian’s a site that doesn’t have any gross pictures or anything nasty, but is just clean. And I also have some recommendations for you. So that might be something to try out. Because I would love for every woman to have the experience of orgasm. Just realize that you are not a broken person or missing out on something monumental. It’s a great part of the experience, but it’s not the whole enchilada, if you will. So those are my thoughts there.

24:06
Yeah, I agree. I, I’ve stopped I’ve seen or that women, on average tend to orgasm 1/3 of the time that men do. And most of them seem to be happy with that.

24:19
Yeah, yep. Yeah.

24:22
I’ve even had kind of played with this as like the male side. I’ve been like, Okay, well, what is sex life if I don’t have an orgasm, but she does more often. And so sometimes I’ll just be like, Okay, forget me. This is going to be focused on you. And, frankly, I still have a fantastic time.

24:45
Yes, that’s awesome. Good. Okay. Well, we’re in talking about what, how to be more engaged. Can you give like, maybe two or three thoughts that women usually miss that they should really make sure they focus in on.

25:04
Sure. With the two or three. Understanding your how your spouse sees it. Hmm, you’re too often we approach sex as in like, just from our perspective. Yeah. Or at worst, we make an assumption about our spouses perspective without actually talking to them and asking them. And that’s why I put in like a whole chapter about communication and sex. Because I think I’ve talked to so many couples that are like, Yep, we’re having sex regularly. I’m like, great. Are you talking about it? And they’re like, No, we’ve never heard about sex. Like, you can have sex two or three times a week. And that’s going fine. But you can’t talk about it. Like that. They’re like, No, we believe we know never even mentioned the word sex before. I don’t think we to each other. Like, wow. And it’s, and I get it, I mean, in some ways, talking about it is more intimate than actually doing it. Because that is not just your like you’re your body involves, but now your, your thoughts and your emotions are involved as well. And, yeah, in our day, that those are more closely guarded than our bodies. I think. You know, that, well, it’s okay, we can have sex, but I’m not going to let you into my mind to kind of orient in my heart. Yeah, that’s, that’s kind of a very sad statement to make for a couple of who’s been married for a long amount of time. Like, I kind of get it for newlyweds who are just trying to learn to be vulnerable together. But yeah, there are a lot of people who have been married for decades, who still, they’re still not really intimate. Yeah, so I think I think talking about it, and communicating and understanding, you know, this is what sex means to me. And this is, you know, how I approach it. And this is how my mind works. Because I’ve learned over the years, my wife’s perspective on sex is completely different than mine. They could not be more different. Yeah. As far as I know. And yeah, and that’s, you know, I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand how she sees and approaches and thinks about sex or what it feels like to her or anything. But I’m going to do my best to try and figure it out. Because every time I learn something, I can figure out a way to make it better for her, which in turn makes it better for me. And it, it makes it more of a connection rather than just a physical activity. Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s that’s one big one, too. Yeah.

28:03
I think one of the things that I hear most often from men,

28:11
even if they’re having sex regularly, is that their husband or their wife is never initiating or initiate it’s extremely rarely. And, you know, I think many wives are very scared of that. They’re, they don’t know how to initiate. They don’t know what initiation means. Because a lot of times, like, you’ll ask the husband, he’s like, no, she never initiates. And she’s like, I initiate all the time. Just the other day. I was waiting for you. It’s like, that’s not initiating. That’s just being receptive. Yeah. Yeah. So I think there’s this big struggle between what is initiating what is not. So one of the units in my course is, I didn’t write a whole lot in that one. Honestly, I took comments from, I think it’s about 100 husbands who answered a survey that I posted up saying, you know, what is initiating mean to you? You know, what does it look like? And how does it make you feel and all these things, and I just posted the comment, and it’s one of the longest units and, and so many of the wives who went through the course said, I had no idea that that was amazing. Like just to see their perspective. Because too many of these them they’re not asked they’re not talking about sex, so they have no idea. Yeah. And a lot of them said, Wow, I thought I’d been initiating for years and I haven’t ever Oh, wow. So that that’s a it’s very cool to see feedback like that. Yes. And to be able to see people’s lives changing, and for the better. Yeah. And once I do it, I mean, all the white said, yeah, it’s scary. But yeah, it was really good.

30:14
Yes, yes.

30:17
You know, the more often you try it, the more you do it, the more comfortable it becomes.

30:21
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s more enjoyable for the wife a lot of times because she gets her head in the game. And it’s, um, it’s enjoyable that way.

30:31
And I’ve also found that, you know, a lot of times men, they think they know what they want, but they don’t really know what they want. Yeah. Because a lot of them, hear them. And they’re like, no, no, I want her to initiate every time. And then later, if it actually happens, he’s like, You know what, I don’t want her to initiate everything. Yeah, and so it seems to be that somewhere in there, like 10% to 30% kind of range is like, where men like their wives to initiate. So it doesn’t need to be like, all the time. Yeah, it was just once in a while. And then they, these husbands, they feel so appreciated. That happens, because they feel like their wives actually desire them.

31:15
Hmm. Wow. That’s really cool to hear that that a husband feels appreciated by a wife initiating that I mean, for women, that’s not normal for us to think. But that he’s being appreciated by us initiating sex. It’s cool.

31:35
Yeah, probably the number one comment I got about the course from wives was them saying, I thought this was just about, like, the physical act of sex. And all I wanted was to feel good. Yeah, Mikey, that’s what he wants is to feel good. But you’re, you’re on the wrong level. Like, the physical aspect of it. It’s kind of it’s fun, and it’s entertaining. And it’s exciting. But the emotional connection and the appreciation and everything else that is worth 100 times the physical sensations.

32:12
That’s awesome.

32:14
Never didn’t have a clue. They thought there was absolutely no emotional aspect to it whatsoever. Yep. That’s awesome. Actually, a lot of them had their husbands read some of them and their husbands like, yeah, that’s how I feel. And she’s like, Why didn’t you tell me?

32:32
You’d ever asked like, yeah, right. Or I thought you knew this was bad. We don’t communicate

32:36
well, either.

32:39
Yep. Oh, my gosh. Well, this sounds like a sounds like an awesome course, Jay, and I’m really grateful for everything that you shared on the podcast. And do you have any last thoughts for us?

32:52
Oh, my last thoughts. I think my last one would be that. Too often, I find couples think that sex becomes boring after a while. And so I wrote one of our chapters on like, becoming more adventurous during sex. And I don’t mean like doing crazy things. You don’t have to like buy whips or chains. Sex at a party or anything like that. That’s when you go online, and you’re like, how to spice up your sex life? You get some crazy and often dangerous responses. Right? Right. So but I’ve often said to people, and I kind of put this in the unit, you know, monogamy doesn’t need to result in monotony. Hmm, you know, that if you can learn which boundaries or viewers are good and wholesome, and which ones are just you being scared to grow, then you can start to push some of these boundaries that are, you know, not bad to be pushed upon. Yeah. And once after a while you you kind of get a repertoire of all these things that you can do together. And you can cycle through them, and it never gets old. And you still keep figuring out and learning stuff if you are communicating. And if you’re willing to try things. If you’re willing to push boundaries. That I think that’s, you know, too many people, they just say no, we just do the same thing over and over and over again. And right, we’ll stop

34:35
That’s right. No, that’s great. Awesome, cool. Well, Jay, thank you so much for all this, this is really great. And for you listener, if you would like the course you can just go to delight your marriage.com/ 72 and that’s the number 72. And actually, Jay has been generous enough to give us a really significant discount if you purchase Just before the end of November 2015. So I’d encourage you to go to delight your marriage.com/ 72 and get this course it could be fantastic for your marriage. But Jay, thank you so much. This has really been fun and and I appreciate all your wisdom and advice.

35:17
No problem. It’s been, I always enjoy talking to you.

35:23
Gosh, thank you, Jay. And I just appreciate all of his insights. But if you are inspired by this, I just want to encourage you that this is exactly what intimacy is meant to be of two spouses really enjoying the experience because God made it pleasurable on purpose. It’s supposed to be a pleasure and a joy and ultimately, unification of the husband and the wife. So I’d encourage you go get that course delight your marriage.com/ 72. It’s I’ve gone through it myself. And there’s so many great insights that I didn’t know myself. And he talks a lot about sciency things that I think is cool. But he also talks practically, and there’s challenges in there for you. And it’s a great course. So I’d encourage you to do that. Otherwise, Jay and I are actually hosting a webinar together. If you haven’t gone to one of my webinars before, I would encourage you to come my last webinar actually, I received some feedback from a wife that’s been married over 25 years. And she says that, Bella, this work is of God, it is very good. Thank you. This webinar is so important. I hope it reaches every married woman. So very cool. I hope that you would be able to come go to delight your marriage.com/webinar and, and join us there. Otherwise, thank you so much, again for listening. And I just encourage you to engage this week that your intimacy would be at a greater level of, of intimacy, really. And anyway, I’m praying for you. God bless you and we’ll talk soon. Thank you.

36:58
Thanks for joining. If you’ve been inspired by this show, would you help spread the word? If you take a moment to review and subscribe others can find us more easily. Find out how to delight your marriage.com forward slash iTunes. Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion